sad and tired

hoho...cam whoring~~
cam whoring again ahah
trying to be artistic ahah

y does things go wrong when i thought everything's gonna be alright?

i am sad by sumthing that has happened to me which i never thought was going to happen. sometimes i just wish that i still live in an innocent and pure world where everyone lives happily and peacefully together with no conflicts and no unhappiness between people. everyone just love one another for who they are , accept them for what they are and accepting the mistakes or the flawed personality that everyone has. God has taught me to love pple who are hard to love and this command has really guarded my principles in life till now. but suddenly it just dawned upon me that human beings are selfish by nature. if everyone is like God, then there wouldn't be God already.

i want to stop thinking that i am always not good enough for people~ i am really tired of living for other people. i just want to live for myself sometimes. i do want to live for God, but sometimes i find it really hard to be the person that God wants me to be:(

i want to be strong, to love my life, to live optimistically.... but why am i always put through obstacles and circumstances that only make me sad and disheartened.? why is it that whenever i tot my life is happy and joyous, bad things just happen suddenly and end the temporal happiness that i have and thought will last? i just want to cry sometimes but yet i always swallow my tears because i want to be strong. in the end, i feel so suffocated because i am crying in my heart but at the same time i have to hide it so well so that no one can see me weak. And frankly speaking, i am tired ...i am really tired now. i really don't know when the next time i meet a problem do i still have the energy to smile it off? .... i just want want to hide under God's wings so that He can protect me from all the daggers......

but i am glad to say that my family is always my energy booster and strength for facing obstacles in life. i know that because of God, my family and my best friends, i will be brave and take up whatever challenges that is still ahead of me and never give up~ i will continue to do my best to work things out in the best that i can....